Desperation.

I was so, so blessed tonight to see Holly before she leaves for Harding, and Lauren visiting in Tuscaloosa before she goes back to Auburn. It is so true what the Bible says about how "a chord of three strands is not easily broken." I have known these girls since I was little, and I feel as if our relationship will be an eternal one. Every time we see each other, we just pick up where we left off. These girls know my deepest struggles and still love me despite them. We encourage each other and help each other find strength in the Lord. It is such a wonderful relationship.

Of course, we started talking by asking Lauren about JH. I was just overwhelmed with a desire to experience what she had as she talked. Her stories and wisdom that she acquired while at the ranch were so profound. She made friendships that were more than surface level, more than the "Hey, how are you? Good, how are you?"; her conversations were filled with such truth and a deepness that I wish I encountered more often. One of the things she said that really stuck with me was about prayer; how we are actually able to talk to the Creator of the Universe and He cares about what we have to say, even though He already knows everything about us. How He doesn't get mad whenever we forget our devotionals sometimes; He is madly in love with us! He romances us! If we could just open our eyes and stop focusing on ourselves, we could see the ways He pursues us! She spoke of how God is even in the little things of life, wanting to make His presence known. She was running one morning and saw a solid white butterfly, and it reminded her how she is a new creation, pure and blameless in His sight. We all become beautiful butterflies when we take on Christ. How Good is the Lord to us, that He can take something like me, so small and inadequate and with such little faith, and use it to do mighty things in His name? I just need to open my heart to Him!

Holly talked about Kenya and how incredible it was. My heart is so full of joy whenever I think of going to Africa and ministering to the people there. She spoke of prayer as well and how different it is from how we learn about it in America. Those people grip onto God, grip onto talking with Him, because prayer is all they've got. Something she said that I recall distinctly was how in the States, we say, "Oh, I'm a banker, and I'm a Christian." But there, it's just "I'm a Christian." Their job is merely something they do to survive; it does not define their purpose and their existence. We as people are so much more than a 9 to 5. We are followers of Christ! That is our "profession!" Worship is our life. Everything we do should bring praise to God. I want the desperation that those people have for the Lord. I want to NEED Him. I want to have faith that He's listening when I cry out to Him, when I beg of Him, when I demand of Him. He needs to be my source of sustenance, of fulfillment, not worldly things. 

We held hands and just spoke to Him after that, that He would be with us during the upcoming adventures in our lives. New schools, new friends, new classes, new surroundings. All of us are facing a some kind of newness, a different chapter in each of our lives. All of us want so badly to grip onto God with everything we've got. We prayed for each other to have His strength when we became weak. We prayed that we could be lights to others. We prayed that we wouldn't make plans, that He would make plans for us, and that His desires would be our desires. 

It never ceases to amaze me how good God is to me. He really does romance me. Even when I'm not fully aware of His glory, even when I am completely disgusting in my sin, He surprises me with new mercies. Through conversations with good friends. Through butterflies. I am so, so blessed.

How Great is Our God.