I wanted to scream. I wanted to cuss at them. I wanted to make them hurt. I wanted to get drunk and feel nothing.
Brutal honesty is good, right?
I poured my glass of wine to the top and started to sip.
Got in the bed full of hatred and decided to forget everything that was said.
Thankfully, the Lord stopped me. The Spirit whispered to me to make this list. Eucharisteo.
And my anger left. My negative thoughts couldn't fit in my head when all I was trying to do was think of positive ones. Thankfulness breeds joy. Joy helps us to be content with all we are blessed with. I realized how good He is, and how this person needs LOVE from Him and me. Even though it's so, so hard, I need to give love instead of hate.
Here's the list that saved me tonight from making a lot more mistakes. I encourage you to make a list like this whenever you're mad, and maybe it will help you, too.
I am thankful for:
1. Christmas lights sparkling on the neighbors' houses.
2. My brother's millions of facts about random things.
3. Anna Beth's boldness in getting a pixie cut and how cool it looks.
4. A glass of lush red wine after a long day.
5. Grandpa's encouraging words and thankfulness over his blessed life.
6. Granny's heart of service and love for her husband; I want to be more like her.
7. Mama Scogin's incredible cooking and her generosity to everyone.
8. Traditions like eating sloppy joes and putting out luminaries on Christmas Eve.
9. Anna Lake learning how to say 'Tara' for the first time.
10. How kids all over the world are dreaming of Santa visiting tonight.
11. The magic and wonder that permeates Christmas; I miss having it myself.
12. Warm cuddles and snuggles by the fire.
13. How beautiful Lauren sounded at church on Sunday.
14. The Holy Spirit and how He speaks to us.
15. Talks with Louanne and how she cares about what I say.
16. All those years I spent riding horses; it was so wonderful.
17. Getting to spend five relaxing days in St. Thomas with family.
18. Rays of sunlight warming our bodies on sandy beaches.
19. Lattes from Heritage House and chats with Jesus in their creaky wooden chairs.
20. When it's really dark and you can see a thousand stars twinkling back at you.
21. How Nick from New Girl and Patrick have so many similar mannerisms.
22. That God knows what He's doing, even when we don't have a clue.
23. Bundling up in knitted scarves and poofy jackets in the winter.
24. The one day it snows in Alabama and the mass freakout that ensues.
25. Listening to Harry Potter on audiobook on road trips.
26. Hugs from my parents and how much they've provided for me.
27. Smiles that make your eyes crease and light up.
28. Phone calls with best friends.
29. Running with Will and his dad and attempting to keep up.
30. Amber and her uncanny knowing of me.
31. Playing Catan and winning when no one's expecting it.
32. My granddaddy's stories about his life.
33. Will making me coffee every morning.
34. Shopping with Nena and her incredible style.
35. Disney trips with Kendyll An and her hospitality in hosting us.
36. Old polaroids from high school.
37. Hangouts in Sokol and deep convos.
38. Hiding a geocache at Paradise Point and that Kiki and Buppies love it too.
39. The pug parade.
40. Listening to the Lumineers play in the pouring rain after college graduation.
41. That my husband still loves me even after knowing every part of me.
42. My great-grandmother's engagement ring.
43. Katie's sarcasm and how I don't always understand it.
44. How Rebekah is just so dang cute.
45. Being fearfully and wonderfully made by the Lord.
46. Almost midnight trips to Heavenly Donut Co.
47. Walking around Portland and Seattle and Vancouver and falling in love.
48. How much Will's dad loves genealogy.
49. Seeing Elf at the Alabama Theater with home group.
50. Making a friend from Brazil that loves Jesus.
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