Home.

"Oh home, let me come home. Home is whenever I'm with you." 

I can't believe it's been three weeks since I've left Granada. I have so many weird feelings about it. Of course, I'm so happy to be back with my family and friends and Will and spending the holidays with them. I definitely missed Chickfila and sweet tea. But, sadly, I have a longing to be back. I loved it. So much. Some of my friends are still there. My family is still there. Eloisa was my mother for four months and still is my mother; I can't see her as just another person on the planet anymore. It's so unreal to not see her every morning, smell the aroma of her black coffee, give her big hugs, hear her Spanish and converse with her so naturally about school, friends, and every little thing. It was my life for such a long, yet short period of time at the same instance, but she will be forever intertwined with my soul. It's such a heart wrenching feeling to say goodbye to someone that you know you will never see again, but has impacted your life in a way they could never conceive or imagine. I feel that I will see her and the rest of my family again, but there's people like José, the physical therapist I shadowed, who I doubt I'll ever see. I went by the residencia for the last time on Tuesday and he gave me the biggest hug ever, calling me "guapa" and wishing me well. That's so different than America! I miss their culture of touch, how people kiss each other on the cheek when they greet and call each other darling and beautiful. And Manuel and Rosaria and Maria and Miguel and all those old people who lived there, gosh they will never know how much they mean to me; they will probably never leave that place, never recover from the state they're in and it's so sad. It's hard to accept that certain people will only be in your life for a season at a time, and you have to move on, go to new places, and often leave them behind. We are constantly in a state of change, even when we don't realize it. It's hard. 

Now school has started back and I don't know what to do with myself. People ask you how your trip was and how could I possibly sum it up in a couple of words? Some don't even realize that you've gone anywhere, which is fine, but it's nuts how something could affect your life so deeply and you physically can't make anyone understand it completely, what overcame you, what made you smile inside. I yearn to hear the language and speak it as naturally as I did before; I know some of it has already been lost. Thankfully, I have a spanish literature class this semester with a wonderful professor who knows how much we want to learn the language. Also, my friend David from Colombia have set a time every week when we can converse in Spanish. Another thing that I don't like is being the only one from my program out in the middle of nowhere; everyone was from either the west or north, requiring at least a 13 hour drive to see anyone. We have to rely on Skype or texting to keep in touch, which is strange from just being able to see each other and talk every day. I feel like I took it for granted so much! Those little moments with that person that will forever be carved on your heart. I am so blessed to be able to experience the time I had there in Granada. I know the appropriate response is to rejoice for the time you had, remember the people you encountered, and then move on to the new season of life. I know this will take a bit, but I feel that I will get there. Thank you all my friends who have taken the time to ask me about my experience on a deeper level than just casual conversation; this is the type of discussion I love to have and am always willing to share with you about. Please pray for me that I will get adjusted to life at home and be an impact for Christ! Passion Conference in Atlanta over the break was so wonderful, being able to see everyone and hear such amazing speakers preach the word of God over us. We raised 3 million dollars to help end slavery! Just think of what we can do to change the world when we all work together for a common goal: sharing the gospel and bringing hope to the lost. I'm still convinced He wants to do something big with me to impact this world, even though I have no idea what shape it will take yet. I love you all so much.